I found this lovely gem in my email.  I wrote this in November of 2006 after my friend Kirsten and I spent a crazy evening trying to rescue a car from where it had been towed.  I hope you enjoy a glimpse in to some of the crazy things that happen in my life.  🙂

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The Mis-Adventures of Jenn and Kirsten

The Cast:

Jenn – Country Girl who thinks she can handle most anything (as long as daddy is on speed dial!)

Kirsten – City Girl who doesn’t know what she just got herself into.

Andy – Our hero who was at home, in bed very sick.

Pontiac – The 1996 Grand Am GT that hasn’t started (or attempted to start) in 18 months.

Baby Bear – Jenn’s Wonderfully Faithful Ford Ranger

Banshee Towing – The Company that took the Noble Steed Pontiac

The 3 Carnies (the kid, the chimney, and the tattooed) – What else do you need to know?

Michael – The AAA Knight in Shining Armor!

Aamco – The Car Doctor

The back story:

On October 24th, the property manager for Villa Del Sol condos put a bright orange sticker on the Pontiac. The sticker stated that they would be towing the car on October 25th. Jenn wrote a note to the property manager stating that the Pontiac would be removed from the property by October 31st. When Jenn and Andy arrived at the condo on October 25th, the car was still there. So we were doing good. Then Jenn and Andy arrived on October 30th to move the Pontiac to Aamco to get it repaired. The Pontiac had been towed that morning!

So now commences the story of The Rescue of the Pontiac, also known as The Mis-Adventures of Jenn and Kirsten.

November 9th was a beautiful day. Jenn started the day by teaching a program at Animal Kingdom. Then that  afternoon Jenn decided that she needed to rescue the Pontiac from the evil Banshee. After dropping Andy off at home (he was feeling terrible), Jenn met Kirsten at Joann Fabrics around 5 pm and they were off on their rescue mission. The lair of the Banshee was on Orange Ave just south of Taft-Vineland Road. Jenn and Kirsten arrived just as the sun was setting. They took a moment to take in their surroundings. The main thing they noticed was the 3 passenger train cars with people living in them. These people would make pilgrimages to the outhouse with their own rolls of toilet paper. This made Kirsten a little nervous. They went in to the gated area where the cars were parked next to the tow trucks.

The Banshee’s Minion came out to meet them. He declared that he needed a copy of the registration with Jenn’s name on it (which was in the Pontiac), another document with the VIN number on it, and Jenn’s Driver’s License. After gathering all the important documents of ownership, the minion disappeared in the lair. He returned later with the good news that the Banshee will allow them to take home the Pontiac. The minion put air in the tires and attempted to jump start the Pontiac, but it wouldn’t start. So he towed the car to outside the fence, dropped it off, and drove away.

Jenn and Kirsten decided that they would go by a new battery for the Pontiac, because they would need tail lights on the car if they were to use the tow rope that Baby Bear always carried. Jenn and Kirsten drove off to find the nearest retailer with a battery. After getting a battery at Sam’s Club, Jenn realizes that they needed a wrench in order to change the battery. Not knowing where to go, they drove a little south on OBT and found an ACE Hardware. Jenn was so grateful. They pulled in 10 minutes before the store was going to close. They run in and ask where the crescent wrenches were. A nice retail lady showed them where the wrenches were, and ever so nicely tried to sell them the $15 crescent wrench. Jenn said no thank you and grabbed the $4 crescent wrench. After paying, they were back on the road to get the Pontiac.

On the way to the Pontiac, Kirsten lamented that they did not have flashlight. Jenn told her not to worry, because they had Baby Bear’s Headlights! They pulled up to the Pontiac, popped the hood, and Jenn proceeded to undo the bolts on the battery. After removing the bolts and the contacts, Jenn realizes that she really does not know what order to place the contacts on the new battery. Jenn calls her daddy. She would normally call Andy, but he was sick and well, cell service is not that great at their new house. He told her that she would attach the positive contact first and then the negative. Jenn’s daddy got a great kick out of his little girl changing a battery. While on the phone with him, Jenn is trying to pull out the battery and it will not budge! Jenn hung up with her daddy and tried and tried to pull out the battery. By this time Jenn is convinced that the battery corroded and was stuck to the tray. While looking for a way to pry out the battery, Jenn discovers the bolt and clamp that hold the battery in place. Why didn’t her daddy tell her about that? She’ll have to ask him the next time she talks to him….

So, Jenn grabs her shiny new crescent wrench and tires to take off the bolt. She can’t get the bolt off. Must have been put on by a pneumatic wrench, or a very strong man. While trying to remove the bolt, three guys walked up offering help. Turns out that they live in the railroad passenger cars! The three guys, (The Kid, The Chimney, and the Tattooed) took turns trying to get the bolt off, but they had no success. The Tattooed guy walked off, guess he had better things to do. The Kid and The Chimney took turns trying to undo the bolt while arguing with each other about stupid things. They probably thought they were being alluring for 2 young women (little did they know). Who knows. After about 30 minutes in their company, Jenn and Kirsten had learned that they were carnival workers. The passenger cars were their home. All the workers for the carnival live in the passenger cars and they travel around the country on the train to different locations and set up their traveling carnival. The carnival winters here in Florida. So, Jenn and Kirsten met real live carnies! Kirsten was very excited!

The Tattooed guy returned with a socket wrench, pushed The Kid and The Chimney out of the way. The Tattooed proceeded to remove the bolt with no problem and removed the battery. Then, The Kid and The Chimney raced to the back of Baby Bear to grab the new battery. The Tattooed put in the new battery and bolted it in. But The Tattooed put the contacts on in the wrong order! He got a little shocked. After the battery was in place, he tried to start the car. After fussing with the car for about 15 minutes, he decided that the fuel pump was dead. It was time to pull out the tow rope. Jenn could not wait to get out of there. The 3 carnies proceeded to argue about the best way to hook up the tow rope. Finally The Tattooed one stated that he used to be a tow truck driver and he would deal with the tow rope. After the Pontiac was attached to Baby Bear, Jenn gave Kirsten some towing instructions. Kirsten got in to the Pontiac and Jenn got in to Baby Bear and they were off.

About a mile or so from Banshee’s they were stopped at a traffic light. The light turned green, Jenn gently started pulling away from the light, but the vehicles were not moving. Jenn gave a little more gas (Baby Bear is only a 4 cylinder engine). Next thing Jenn knew, she was across the intersection and Kirsten and the Pontiac were still sitting at the light. The tow rope broke! Jenn parked the truck across the intersection with her four ways going, and walked back to the Pontiac. Kirsten and Jenn pushed the Pontiac across the intersection. By this time, Jenn is trying not to panic! Jenn was trying to decide what they were going to do, when Kirsten remembers that she has AAA!!! They had been on this adventure for about 3 hours, and she then remembers she has AAA! Jenn gave her a bad time, and then had Kirsten call to get a tow truck! 35 minutes later Michael showed up in his tow truck. Jenn and Kirsten were very happy to see him. He put the Pontiac on his flat bed truck and followed Jenn and Kirsten to Aamco on Highway 192 in Kissimmee. Once there, Michael gently took the Pontiac off the truck. Once all appropriate paper work was taken care of, he drove off.

At that moment Jenn and Kirsten realized that they were hungry and Kirsten wanted Fried Green Beans. It is an appetizer that can gotten at TGIFriday’s. Jenn was skeptical about fried green beans, but decided that they were pretty good. After a long evening, Jenn dropped Kirsten at her car at the Joann Fabrics around 10:40 pm.

So ended their crazy adventure…. There were many laughs and interesting people, but they still had tons of fun!

The Pontiac is currently at the Aamco. Jenn and Andy are waiting to hear what the diagnosis and the cost for the cure will be.

The Moral of the Story: If you have a friend helping you with a car, be sure to ask if they have AAA from the start! Or if you are helping a friend with a car and you have AAA, don’t forget you have AAA! 🙂

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